In the Air Tonight

Chapter 1

Blaise

NOW

I’m late getting home from work and in a foul mood after another long day with my jerk of a boss, Wendall, barking orders at me that couldn’t be seen to in a month, let alone a single day. But that’s what he expects—everything right now. Six months ago, I stopped taking his calls after hours because I don’t get paid to tend to him for more than eight hours a day. That’s all he gets from me now.

He didn’t like that.

Ask me if I care. We’ve reached the point where he needs me far more than I need him, and he knows it.

My friends in the city were green with envy when I landed a job as the personal assistant to the hottest star on Broadway. They don’t know he’s a nightmare. No one knows that but me and the people he stars with in Gray Matter, the top-grossing show on the Great White Way this year. As the show becomes more successful, he’s an even bigger dick to everyone around him.

I’m giving him six more months and then moving on. Life’s too short to work for someone I can’t stand.

I’ve barely walked into my apartment when my phone rings with a call from my mother. I hesitate to take it because I’m in such a shitty mood, but she worries when I don’t answer. I press the big green button.

“Hey, Mom.” After kicking off my sneakers, I drop my bag on the sofa. It’s got my laptop and the heels I wear at the theater where I spend my days.

“I’m so glad you answered, sweetheart. I tried you yesterday but got your voicemail.”

I’ve told her—many times—I never check my voicemail and she should text me if she wants to chat, but she’s never gotten the hang of texting. My siblings and I have tried to teach her. She says she has a mental block. I say she couldn’t be bothered. “What’s going on?”

“Teagan is pregnant again.”

I’m shocked. My sister has four children under the age of seven. “Wow. Four wasn’t enough?”

“I guess not. She’s so happy. I could hear it in her voice when she called to share the news. Doug has a big new job that allows her stay home with the kids. She’s thrilled to be a full-time mom now.”

“I’m glad for her. That’s a lot to juggle with a job.”

“It was too much, and the daycare bills were sucking up most of her salary anyway.”

“I’ll text her to say congrats.”

“I know she’d love to hear from you.”

I hear the sadness in my mother’s voice. How could I not? It’s been there since the day I left home and never looked back. My family has asked over the years why I never come home, even for holidays I used to enjoy. I haven’t been able to provide an answer that satisfies them. This is what works for me. Staying away from there, from the memories, has made it possible for me to have a life of purpose without guilt swallowing me whole.

Since I left for college nearly thirteen years ago, I’ve been home once—when my father died suddenly.

I’ve always been certain that if I go back there for any length of time, my carefully constructed house of cards will come crashing down.

My mother chats on about people I barely remember, kids I grew up with who are now parents many times over, her friends’ grandchildren and other gossip from home.

“Was Ryder Elliott your year or Arlo’s?”

The bottom drops out of my world at the mention of that name.

Ryder Elliott.

“Blaise? Hello? Are you there?”

I swallow hard. “I’m here. What did you say?”

“Was Ryder your year? Or Arlo’s?”

All the spit in my mouth is gone, and I’m right back in the woods on the night that changed everything. The scent of woodsmoke is forever tied to that night as is the Steve Miller song “Jet Airliner.”

“I, uh, my year,” I somehow manage to say.

“He’s running for Congress. Can you believe that kids you went to school with are now doing things like that?”

A roar overtakes me, so loud it drowns out every thought in my head. “No.”

“What? Did you say something, honey?”

I’m screaming to myself. No, no, no, no. He’s running for Congress? Oh no. No, he is not. That cannot happen. Something about those words, he’s running for Congress, tips me over an edge I’ve hovered on for fourteen long years. I can’t stay there another second.

I remember every detail of that night as if it happened five minutes ago. It’s as vivid to me now as it was then, unlike other things that’ve faded into the ether.

“Mom?”

“You’re scaring me, Blaise. What’s wrong?”

“I’m coming home.”

* * *

Blaise

THEN

My mom made meatloaf, one of the five meals we’d all eat. Tired of fighting dinner battles with four picky kids, she rotates from one meal to the other, but meatloaf is usually my favorite. I can barely swallow a bite because I’m so nervous. While my parents, sisters and brother keep up a steady stream of chatter, I try not to puke from nerves.

I’m a month shy of my seventeenth birthday and about to do something I’ve never done before on the first night of summer vacation—directly disobey my parents. Sure, I’ve told a white lie here and there, had a few beers and even smoked pot a couple of times. But I haven’t taken the car somewhere they’ve specifically told me not to go.

My phone buzzes with a text from Sienna Lawton, my best friend. Still good to go?

We’re not supposed to text at the table, so I keep the phone in my lap when I reply with Ya.

I’m going to be sick.

“What’s wrong, Blaise?” Mom asks. “Why aren’t you eating? It’s your favorite.”

“I had a big lunch on the way home from the beach. Can I wrap it up for later?”

“Sure, honey. That’s fine.”

“It’s delicious, Mom. Thank you for dinner.”

She smiles at me. “You’re welcome.”

I’m a good kid. I work hard at school, get excellent grades and generally do what I’m told, unlike my sister Teagan, who’s three years older than me and gives them nothing but trouble. I fly under the radar and like it there. I’d never want the kind of attention Teagan gets from them, which includes a lot of yelling, door slamming and overall contention.

My brother, Arlo, a year older than me, is my hero. He manages to smoothly do whatever the hell he wants and get away with it. My parents think he’s the perfect son. However, I know where most of his skeletons are buried. I’ll take that info to my grave. He and I look out for each other. It’s not something we ever talk about, but we’ve got each other’s backs.

My little sister, Juniper—known as June or Junie—chats nonstop, which usually annoys me. Tonight, I’m thankful for the distraction she provides.

I’m taking the car to a party across the river in Land’s End, where I’m most definitely not allowed to go. My parents say the long, dark winding roads leading to Land’s End are an accident waiting for a teenager to happen. Plus, it’s well known in our town of Hope that some of the kids from Land’s End, who are bussed to our high school because they don’t have one of their own, are partiers.

My parents would lose their shit if they knew my plans for the evening.

They don’t track my phone because I’ve given them no reason to, whereas they pay extra for new technology that lets them track Teagan’s every move. She calls me the Golden Child. It’s not a compliment coming from the Merrick family’s chief agitator. Just because I’m not constantly getting in trouble doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun. Granted, I’m not one of the super popular girls like Teagan was in high school, but I can live with that. I have several good friends, even if none of us are considered the “cool” kids.

Sienna sort of straddles both worlds thanks to her boyfriend, Camden Elliott. He and his older brother Ryder, who are both in our class thanks to Ryder being held back a year before kindergarten, are the most popular boys in our school. They’re co-captains of the football team, as well as baseball (Camden) and track (Ryder) stars.

They’re also Arlo’s closest friends. You’d think that having a best friend and brother attached to the school’s most popular kids would elevate me, too. You’d be wrong about that.

Sienna and Cam have been a couple for as long as I can recall. I barely remember her without him. However, things have been weird between them lately, which is why we’re risking everything to go to spy on a party we weren’t invited to. Cam pretended like he didn’t know about the party, which made her suspicious and paranoid. When she couldn’t get her family’s car for the night, her paranoia became my problem.

Upstairs, I change into denim cutoff shorts and a halter top. In the long shot possibility that we’re able to talk our way into the party, I put on makeup, focusing on the blue eyes that people say are my best feature. I run a brush through the reddish-brown hair I straightened earlier. I want to change my hair color, but my mom won’t let me. Try having reddish hair when your name is Blaise. I’ve had every nickname from Fire Ant to Fireball. I especially hate that the boys call me Ablaze. Worst nickname ever.

As a finishing touch, I spray on some of the fancy perfume my grandmother gave me for Christmas. I’d never heard of the scent, but Gran said it’s best not to smell like anyone else.

I’m ready to go, but still feel like I’m going to be sick. I knock on Teagan’s door. She’s only home because she’s grounded—again.

“What?” She’s twenty and finished her second year at community college in May, getting grades that barely kept her off academic probation. She has to do another semester to get an associate degree. Last week, she was caught at a bar in Newport, even though she’s underage. My parents went ballistic and demanded she turn over her fake ID. Knowing her, she has two others hidden in her room.

“Do you have any Tums?”

She hurls the bottle at me, barely missing my head. I catch the bottle, shake out two of them and put the bottle on a desk piled high with clothes and other crap. It’s never seen a school book in all the years since Mom bought desks for us at Pottery Barn Kids.

“Thanks.”

She grunts something in reply but doesn’t look up from the phone she earned back after the latest parental altercation by doing chores around the house.

In a way, I’m kind of thankful for her. She keeps the attention off me.

In the hallway, I run into Arlo. His light brown hair is wet from the shower, and his blue eyes give me a quick once over. “What’s with you?”

“Nothing. Why?”

“You’re dressed up.” He leans in for a whiff. “Wearing perfume and makeup. Where’re you going?”

“Nowhere.” If anyone can see right through my lies, it’s him, which can be comforting and annoying—at the same time.

“I’d better not see you anywhere near Land’s End tonight, you got me?”

“Why would I go there?”

He gives me a withering look that big brothers have been giving their younger sisters since the beginning of time. “Stay. Away.”

“I have better things to do than go to your stupid party.”

“Don’t tell Mom and Dad anything about it, or I’ll murder you.”

I roll my eyes, to say ‘as if I’d start talking now’. Why would I tell them that Houston Rafferty’s parents are away, and he’s hosting a rager with booze? His party has been the talk of our town and LE for days. I’m surprised my parents haven’t picked up the scent by now.

I land downstairs feeling moderately better after taking the Tums.

My dad is doing the dishes. She cooks. He cleans up. They get along great and only butt heads over Teagan. He’s tough on her. Mom’s a softie, and that infuriates my dad, who, as he says, is trying to keep her out of jail. Mom says he exaggerates, but I tend to agree with him. He’s probably the only thing keeping her out of serious trouble.

Dad glances at me and smiles. “You ready to go?” His gaze takes in my outfit. He hates the crop tops that’re all the rage with girls my age, but thankfully, he doesn’t make an issue out of it.

I swallow the lump in my throat. “Yep.”

“And you guys are going to the movies and maybe downtown, right?”

“Yes.” I feel sick lying to him.

“Home by midnight?”

“I’ll try. If I’m running late, I’ll text you.”

He hands over the keys to his Toyota SUV and kisses my cheek.

“Thank you for being so considerate. It’s very much appreciated.”

I come this close to spilling my guts and telling him the truth. But he’ll never let me take the car to Land’s End, and Sienna is counting on me.

How many times will I wish I’d told him the truth about my plans for that night?

Every day for the rest of my life.

Chapter 2
Blaise
THEN

Sienna jumps into the SUV before it completely stops moving, letting out a shriek of excitement that stretches my nerves almost to the breaking point. Her wild, curly brown hair is still wet from the shower, and she’s taken a bath in Victoria’s Secret body spray. “I honestly thought you’d chicken out.” She changes the radio station from B101 to WHJY and cranks the volume on “Freebird.”

“I almost did. I might throw up.”

“You’ll be fine. We’ll go over there, see what Cam is doing and then come back. No biggie.”

Right. No biggie. It’s not her ass on the line if we get caught there. People know my dad’s car, which is why we drive around for an hour until darkness gives us the cover I need to go through with this plan.

We head across the bridge into Monroe, the town between ours and Land’s End. The kids from Land’s End used to go to Monroe High School, but for reasons I’m not clear on, they ended up in school with us. School got a lot more interesting once the Land’s End kids joined us freshman year, especially Dallas Rafferty.

Not that he knows I’m alive, but whatever. A girl can dream. No one knows I like him, even Sienna, who’d want to try to fix me up with him because Cam plays football with Dallas and is friends with him outside of school.

In fact, Dallas’s older brother Houston—their mom is originally from Texas, and their sister is named Austin—is the one having the party tonight. I was surprised to hear Houston was having a big party, since his dad is the police chief in LE. Sienna heard his parents are on a cruise and off the grid, thus the party. Houston is a senior in college and legal, which means there’ll be plenty of beer and other booze at the party. That’ll draw a lot of kids from Hope across the river tonight, which is all the more reason to be scared. Someone might still recognize my dad’s car and rat me out.

So many of my friends can do whatever they want. Their parents never ask them where they’re going, who they’re going with or when they’ll be home. While part of me thinks that would be nice, I’m grateful that someone would care enough to ask where I was if I didn’t show up at home. My parents would call the police if I didn’t come home.

Sienna is practically bouncing in the passenger seat. “You’re driving like my grandmother.”

She gets hyper when she’s stressed, and worrying about Cam lying to her has had her on edge for days.

“Why don’t you come right out and ask him if he’s going?”

“I don’t want him to know that I know about the party.”

“Why not?”

“He’ll think I don’t trust him.”

I don’t follow the logic. “Well, you don’t…”

“Yes, I do! It’s just a bump. We’re solid. Always have been and always will be.”

“Of course you will.” I tell her what she needs to hear even if I’m not so sure lately.

I’ve noticed subtle signs of Cam pulling away from her, even if she can’t admit it.
I don’t want to be around if they break up. I’ll have to make up an emergency trip to Siberia or something to avoid having to deal with her if that happens. Not that I wouldn’t want to be there for my best friend, but her without Cam is unimaginable. They’re an institution, the longest-standing couple in our entire school, the homecoming king and queen two years in a row and the couple most likely to get married. They’re even planning to go to college together in Arizona. Her whole life is tied up in him and vice versa.

I desperately hope we don’t catch him doing something unforgivable at this party.
The road to the Rafferty house is lined with cars.

“Where should we park? If Arlo sees the car, I’m screwed.”

“There’s a back road Cam showed me once. Go past the house. You can circle around. We can walk in from the next block over.”

I follow her directions to a street a block away and park in a dark spot between two streetlights. The second we emerge from the SUV I can hear the party. Music, loud voices and laughter fuel my anxiety as we walk through a thicket of trees, the noise getting louder as we get closer. The scent of woodsmoke from a bonfire fills the air.

Houston is famous for his epic bonfires, or so I’ve been told. I’ve never been invited to one of his parties.

Sienna takes my arm to stop me from going any farther. “We can see from here.”

The party is massive. If you ask me, every kid from Hope, Monroe and LE is there, except us.

I smack a mosquito that lands on the back of my neck. “Shit, we forgot bug spray.”

She digs through the gigantic purse she takes everywhere. “I’ve got some.”

We joke that anything we will ever need can be found in Sienna’s bag.

The smell of woodsmoke and bug spray will forever remind me of this fateful night.

“There’s Cam,” I whisper to her.

She leans in for a closer look.

He looks a lot like Ryder with lighter hair but isn’t as ripped as Ryder. Sienna says that’s because he likes pizza so much.

Shit, he’s talking to Brooke, who’s a year ahead of us with boobs twice the size of Sienna’s. “They’re just talking,” I whisper to her. “It’s no big deal.”

I venture a glance at Sienna’s face and see that it’s a very big deal to her. I’ve wanted to ask her how things are between them when they’re alone, but I’ve been afraid to. From the outside looking in, something has changed. If I can see that, surely she can, too.

My stomach hurts like it did earlier as I pray Cam doesn’t do anything that can’t be undone—or unseen. The very fact that we’re spying on him like this should be the biggest red flag ever for their relationship, but I’m not about to say that to her.
I see Arlo mixing with the other kids, holding court the way he always does. Everyone likes him. He’s tall, dark-haired, handsome and easy going. I aspire to be more like him and less of an anxiety-ridden mess of insecurities. I’m a work in progress, and he’s already arrived at his final destination. I’d hate him for that if I didn’t love him so much.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Sienna whispers.

At first I’m not sure who she’s talking about. And then I see her—the new girl, Denise Sutton, who goes by Neisy. The boys are crazy about her. The girls hate her because she’s stunning, with big boobs, long sun-kissed hair and bee-stung lips. She arrived at our school last September, at the beginning of our junior year, touching down with the impact of an F5 tornado and completely upending the social order. Even the most popular girls in our class have nothing on her, and they know it, which is why they despise her.

They treat her like she’s radioactive, crossing the hallway to avoid her, getting up and moving away from any table she sits at in the lunchroom and spreading vicious rumors about her, like how she did the entire football team after a game last fall and how someone from her old school said she had an abortion freshman year.

I’ve been surprised and ashamed at how girls I’ve known my whole life have treated her.

It’s hard to know what to believe. Everyday it’s something else. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the girls are making shit up just to undercut her. The boys are too dazzled to care what anyone says about her.

Oh shit. Cam’s talking to Neisy now.

Sienna vibrates with outrage next to me.
He leans in closer to hear what Neisy is saying, and then his big laugh rings out so loudly, it’s like he’s standing right next to us.

“I’m going to stab him,” Sienna mutters.

“He’s not doing anything wrong talking to other girls.”

“He knows how I feel about her.”

It’s news to me that she has an opinion about Neisy. “How do you feel about her?”

“She’s a slut.”

“What? You don’t know that.”

“You’ve heard the rumors same as I have.”

“It doesn’t mean they’re true!”

“Whose side are you on?”

“I’m on your side,” I tell her. “Always.” We’ve been best friends since third grade.

“But we don’t know her well enough to call her that.”

“From what Cam says, the whole football team knows her.”

“Including him?”

“He wouldn’t do that.”

I’m not so sure, but I keep that to myself, too. Ever since they finally had sex last winter, Sienna has been extra possessive of him.

Minutes pass as Cam makes the rounds, seemingly talking to everyone as Sienna goes silent. That’s never a good thing.

My legs are starting to cramp from squatting.

“Here comes Ryder,” Sienna whispers.

“Don’t move or he’ll see us.”

I’ve thought Ryder Elliott is hot for as long as I’ve known what hot meant. With dark wavy hair, dreamy blue eyes and a muscular body, he’s like a god in our school, revered by everyone, scouted by colleges that want him for football and track. Every girl wants to be his girlfriend, but he’s been dating Louisa Davies since ninth grade. Ryder and Louisa will be our class couple, and it’s understood they’ll get married as soon as they finish college—if she lives that long.

Louisa has been fighting Hodgkin’s Disease since she was fourteen. Ryder has been by her side through it all, hosting fundraisers for her family and making sure she has everything she needs. They recently celebrated her remission after grueling treatments that had her out of school for most of our sophomore year and again the last half of our junior year.

Everything was looking up until recently when we heard she’d relapsed again. She’s back in treatment, and her immune system is fragile, so she’s not allowed out of her house. I heard how Ryder leaves flowers outside her door every morning. She’s the sweetest girl, and we’re all praying for her recovery. No one more so than Ryder.
We’re about six feet from where he stops and turns to speak to someone.

Neisy.

Shock ricochets through me. No way.

What’s she doing with him? By now she must know he has a longtime girlfriend. Maybe the things people say about her are true.

I want to tell Sienna that we should go, but I can’t get the words out.

I’ve asked myself over and over what would’ve been worse—what we saw or no one knowing what he did.